Gnome for the Holidays

For those who know me, it’s no secret that I have an obsession with strange little men wearing hats. I invite them over, or lure them to my home, and then I imprison them on a living room bookshelf or kitchen windowsill for eternity. I know it sounds weird, but I even hang them from trees in my backyard, and plant them in my garden.

Collecting effeminate little men is not typical, but I think it’s better than collecting cow figurines or crocheted pot holders. Besides, who doesn’t want to come home to a bunch of little smiling eyes and rosy cheeks everyday? My favorite little guys are the oldest, craggiest of the bunch, or the ones with a story - like the kabauter (that's Dutch for gnome) who escaped from a Holland street vendor and made the journey to my living room lair after stowing away in my friend's suitcase.

And while I am confessing my strange obession, I should mention that I don’t stop at gnomes. I love dusty old Santas too. In fact, during this time of year, I can hardly wait until Thanksgiving is over to liberate my santa collection from the attic. I clear off the best table surface in the living room, and lovingly arrange them for their 30-day reprieve.

My gnomes and Santas may not have chosen this life, but it’s a better life than the lonely, cold one they were destined for on eBay or a flea market junk table. At least I offer unending adoration and a good dusting once in while. In return, they warm my home and give me a good chuckle. It's a symbiotic relationship.

Wishing you the most merry Christmas!

The Garden Hose Theory

For weeks, months, well..., years really, I have been tortured. Not the tie-me-up and spank me kind of tourture, but the rattle of the mind kind of torture. I hear it in my head day and night...rattle, rattle, clank, clank. I cannot sleep it's so loud sometimes, all these ideas banging around in my head.

I know what you're thinking - get that girl some therapy. A good doctor and some shock treatments should do the trick. Well, that may be, but I'm going to try blogging first.

My theory is that blogging is kinda like a garden hose turned on just a little. A blog is like a slow, constant trickle of ideas. Ideas that nurture, fortify, and grow things. For someone like me, who has lots of ideas and things to say, but who just can't get them to spill out of her mouth the nifty way they are arranged inside her head, blogging could be just the ticket. I think I'm ready to join the ranks of other hosers, ahem, I mean, bloggers.

With any luck, some flowers may grow. I guess we'll see. But, at the very least, the grass will be greener. And, maybe I'll get some sleep too.